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LIFE UPDATE: MY DATING LIFE SO FAR.

Hey guys its been a while. I am not going to lie i have really missed talking with you guys but my life has been crazy busy. I work basically almost everyday and the little time i have i basically try to sleep and just do my chores so its just crazy busy.

Its been a while i have dated as you know, my dating life is basically not existing. its crazy, i feel like i actually want to meet someone, am ready but i am so busy its annoying and even when i am less busy, i dont know where to go or who to socialize with to get “out there”. So i just end up staying home on my off days and just existing.  I feel like an introvert which  am not but life has kind of forced me to be an introvert which is annoying but its fine. I guess the right person would come, i dont know.

I actually met someone, two people actually in the last two months and it was basically hopeless.So quick question is it just me or when you are ready to date you either meet someone that isn’t super serious, just wants to fool around or someone that is way to serious and he wants you to move in with him and all that.

dating

DATE 1: The first guy i met was actually Nigerian which was good for me because it felt more like home and i guess i thought i would help the connection process or whatever but has i got to know him better i guess it was a little to much for me. He was expecting me to fall in love with him after 2 weeks of hanging out, asked me to move in with him which wasn’t bad but i guess i wasn’t moving at the same pace he was moving so we started to grow apart. Also he had a child which wasn’t a problem, a child is a blessing but i wasn’t just ready to for that type of commitment not only to him but also his child, he wanted me to meet his child and bond which was too much for me honestly and call me selfish but a part of me didn’t want to share either whoever i am with either. So eventually we just stopped talking. Now i dont know if i regret it or i made the right decision because been single for as long as i have been is lonely but at the same time, i need a relationship or a man that wants what i want and was willing to grow with me without making unrealistic demands. So that ended and that was it.

Continue reading “LIFE UPDATE: MY DATING LIFE SO FAR.”

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I FELL IN LOVE WITH ART IN THE CITY OF LAGOS (EXCULUSIVE PICTURES OF THE NIKE ART GALLERY)

Hey guys, today am taking you on a journey to one of my favorite cities in the world.

In my quest to find myself and love myself, I have been doing a lot of new and different things. I am truly grateful for the journey and I am really excited to see new places but before then, lets go to Lagos.

Lagos, Nigeria is mostly know for the hustle and bustle, I have been to Lagos countless times but for the first time I recognized the beauty of the city. Everything about Lagos remind you about the African culture in the most beautiful way.

I have never being a super “Art” fan. I mean I recognize it passively but I am not one of those people to spend a lot of money on art well, until now. Recently my recent tour of the city of Lagos landed me in the famous NIKE ART GALLERY which was founded in 2009 made me fall hopelessly in love with art and the African culture as a whole. It is basically a 4 storey building coated in spotless white of just art, paintings, caricature, statues and all from African (Nigerians) and I was just amazed by the creativity of people.

The Gallery is actually owned by a woman who goes by the name Chief Mrs Nike Davis-Okundaye, a batik and textile designer. I got a privilege to meet her and she was the sweetest most down to earth person. She was dressed like a Queen, adorned with beads and a very interesting yet beautiful head tie. The Art gallery which is owned and directed by her is the largest art gallery in West Africa, carrying over 7000 art works. Nike is known all over the world for promoting her designs through exhibitions and workshops in Nigeria, USA, Belgium, Germany, Austria, Italy and the United Kingdom

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LOVE VS MONEY: WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT IN A RELATIONSHIP?

I recently put a poll regarding the topic/question above on my insta story and I got a backlash from one of my followers who felt it was inappropriate for some reason and even the idea of a person picking money over love was crazy and unrealistic. 47% of over 200 people in the poll actually picked money and contrary to what most people believe that doesn’t make them monsters. They simply spoke their truth and now am about to speak mine. Relationships; a 21st century business transaction

I have said this a lot and I would say it a again, Love is not what keeps a relationship or a marriage for that matter. So many things come together to make a good and healthy relationship including love, trust, respect, communication, honesty, faithfulness and so many other little component including Money. In fact money is a big component, Life is not a fairy tale or a movie where the rich girl marries the poor guy and they live happily ever after or where two struggling lovers defy all odds and they end up happily ever after in their one bedroom apartment. Eventually they both need to get up and work because love isn’t going to put food on the table or pay the rent. Love is the most important thing but its not enough. Its also like saying oxygen is the most important thing to live life but oxygen won’t help you “survive”, you need water, food, shelter in other to survive and that’s almost the case with love and the other components.                     Continue reading “LOVE VS MONEY: WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT IN A RELATIONSHIP?”

HOW SOCIAL MEDIA AFFECTED MY SELF ESTEEM AND HOW I HANDLE SOCIAL PRESSURE.

Whether we admit it or not social media is a huge of our lives. Like most people my age I started using social media about 8-9 years ago and I have had a lot of good but mostly bad experiences on social media. It’s started with FACEBOOK, BBM, 2GO, TWITTER, INSTAGRAM AND SNAPCHAT TO NAME A FEW.

As a teenager I grew into maturity rather slowly, I was really nervous, naïve and super curious. At 14 I looked up 18 year olds and I wanted to do what an eighteen year old was doing and as you can imagine it didn’t end well for me. For a teen who was so engrossed and only looked up to the wrong people, I started taking “sexy” pictures the way I saw these girls were and I realized I started getting a lot of attention from guys and not in a good way, mostly sexual attentions,I started to realize the more cleavage I showed in a picture or the more I shoot out my ass out and the tighter the dress, the more likes and comments I get, the more people started to follow me and “slide into my dm”. I loved the attention and for so many years I put so much pressure on myself to look as picture perfect as I could just so people would tell me how “hot” I was and how “sexy” I was looking. Continue reading “HOW SOCIAL MEDIA AFFECTED MY SELF ESTEEM AND HOW I HANDLE SOCIAL PRESSURE.”

FELA ANIKULAPO-KUTI : what the life of FELA has taught me ( EXCLUSIVE PICTURES OF THE KALAKUTA MUSEUM).

I got a chance to visit the KALAKUTA museum in Ikeja,Lagos state Nigeria on the 31st march,2018 and dare I say it was such a refreshing way to end the month. I have always loved Fela, his music and his style.

I have always viewed him as one of the most unique person to ever walk the surface of the earth. I became curious about Fela when I realized that I only know what my random people had told me about this man, just bits and pieces and that wasn’t enough of understand who he was. I think most people just have an idea of who Fela his based on the annual FELABORATION. The idea of Fela is more like a trend to the younger generation.So I went on this adventure and it actually touched me in the most inspiring way ever.

Continue reading “FELA ANIKULAPO-KUTI : what the life of FELA has taught me ( EXCLUSIVE PICTURES OF THE KALAKUTA MUSEUM).”

I AM A MESS; It’s okay to be a mess.

So on Sunday I was getting ready to go out and I kept changing and looking for the right outfit, trying to look good and for some reason I felt like I was a mess and I was trying to hard, I felt awful and desperate and a loser with a big “L” I don’t know where it came from but I just felt like such a disappointment and tears started rolling down my cheeks and I cried so hard I lost my breath, I basically, ripped off my clothes and crawled into my bathtub and cried for hours non-stop, I curled up and I had a millions feelings run through my mind. I tried to reach my two girlfriends and I couldn’t reach them and that just made me feel more dejected and I cried some more until I fell asleep in the tub. I woke up with the worst pain, my face was swollen, my mascara was everywhere and I looked at myself and said “ you are such a mess”.

Continue reading “I AM A MESS; It’s okay to be a mess.”

RELATIONSHIPS; 21st century business transactions.

I recently had a friend of mine over and we got talking about life and relationships, one thing lead to another in the midst of our conversations it occurred to me that when it comes to relationship especially in our generations majority of the time it’s more or less a business transaction that basically thrives based on the profit you make.

Let me break it down this way;when a business man gets into a particular business venture just because he heard or realized he can make a lot of money from the business; he basically won’t care how things are done or ran as long as he gets his money at the end of the day then he is fine but the second that business stops yielding profit, he basically abandons it and look for the next profitable thing but if he be had started the business or company based on some kind of natural love and passion for the business, whether it thrives or not, it stops being about the profit(money) and he is going to give it all it takes to make that business grows regardless of how hard it would be.

I am going to assume you understand what I just said and I would jump right into it. MOST GUYS WANTS SEX AND MOST LADIES WANTS MONEY and most times that all they really need to start a “relationship” there is an instant attraction when money and sex come into play, in-fact the only reason the girl isn’t a prostitute is probably because of the girlfriend tag or title so to speak but the truth is the only reason she is cooking for him, sleeping with him, following him up and down like a dog and most like “tolerates” is because she knows when she needs money, he would always provide and the only reason the guy is

probably in the relationship is because the sex is great, getting constantly served any and everywhere in whatever he wants it plus she looks good so it’s a win win.

When you ask most people what they want in a partner, most of us have this very unrealistic list in our mind; beard gang, tall, six packs, rich, figure 8, dimples, big ass and so much more.

It stops being about what is on the inside and it’s purely physical. It’s basically saying “this is what I can give you, what am I getting in return”. When a relationship is based on just physical and material things it would crash the minute anything happens to what attracted you to that person in the first place. Don’t get me wrong physical appearance matters, if u asked me a few years back I would have told tell you I wanted someone with Boris Kodjoe face, Micheal Ealy’s eyes, Morris chestnut’s smile and just complete it with Lance Gross’s body, I know I was greedy but when all that goes, if he gets into an accident and he loses that beautiful face I love would I still want to be with him? Has I begin to mature physical appearance feels like a bonus to me now as long as he has a good heart.

That’s why most people break up and get divorced because they are dating an unrealistic idea of what they think love is. It’s sucks but the truth is beauty fades and if it doesn’t there would be people finer and sexier and more “endowed” than the person you are with right now, rich people get broke and there would always be someone richer than that person and you also get tired of having sex with the same person at some point, seriously.

So many people love because of what they stand to get, am not even sure if “love” is the right word for it but you should know this: don’t “love” because you are lonely and you merely need company, don’t even “love” because you need a wife but you should marry her because you love her. Don’t “love” because of the money, don’t “love” because she is pretty, don’t “love” because he is hot.

I feel like so many people don’t get the concept of Love; so I would put it this way. When you love someone it stops being about what they have it’s about who they are. You love without expecting anything in return, they make you want to be and do better. It’s not even about the person physically, it’s how they make you feel, how you smile when they are around or how you think about them, it’s almost like loving their soul.

I wish I could explain better but I hope you have an idea and if you are with your partner for selfish gains or reasons you need to re-evaluate your relationship.